Why hello there

Welcome to the latest and greatest in research and evidence of mad doctors. Here, I will be revealing mad doctors from every point of reality, fictitious or not; attempt to collect mad doctor instruments and wardrobe to better understand them; perform very delicate mathematical and scientific research to dwell into more about mad doctors; and go on an epic quest to find a true, living, breathing example of a mad doctor.

First, before we go any further, we should define exactly what makes a mad doctor a mad doctor. In my own research and experience, I've found that a mad doctor must fall under these categories:

• The person in question must have training in the medical or scientific field or be bright enough in the field to not need a certificate officially.
• This person must also have a mental issue, thus the "mad" part of a mad doctor.

It's very important we make our definition clear from the start. For example, Prof. Moriarty from Sherlock Holmes is a criminal mastermind with the title of professor, but does not show an interest in performing scientific research and does not appear to be insane (though lacks any sense of morality). Dr. House from House, M. D. not only is skilled in the field of medical diagnosis, but also has proven himself time and time again to have a few screws loose, whether it be doing dangerous procedures to drug addictions to being hinted at having Asperger's.

Now that we have that defined, let's carry on with our investigations.

MAD DOCTOR OF THE WEEK

Every week, I will introduce a mad doctor while giving some history about them, their history of diabolical plans (or just the really, really crazy ones), and anything else that needs an explanation. This week's mad doctor is...

DR. CLAW

Dr. Claw is the main antagonist of the cartoon series Inspector Gadget. What he does in every episode is plot some sort of horrific deed for his MAD agents to perform to gain money and power, but always gets his plans foiled by none other than Inspector Gadget himself (though it's always Penny and Brain doing it, despite neither Claw or Gadget realizes this). Claw is most notable for his demonic-sounding voice, only ever having his gauntlet shown at any time, having a car that can transform into a plane and submarine, and his constant screaming and slamming his fist onto his table (always causing MAD Cat to jump up out of being startled). Sometimes he'll even hit his cat, which I'm sure PETA has knocked on his door a few times over it.

All of Claw's plans are over the top and ridiculous, ranging from causing a volcano to explode to get the inhabitants off an island for his own dirty deeds, having his MAD agents disguise themselves as pharaohs and mummies in an attempt to steal an Egyptian sarcophagus, and using a mechanical sea dragon to kidnap a scientist. No matter what the deed, though, Claw always gets close to accomplishing it. The only reason he never does is because of either Brain and Penny's interference unknowingly (despite the fact he kidnaps Penny in like, almost every episode?) or Gadget's own bumbling mistakes and pure luck on his part.

This doesn't stop Claw, though. In the end credits, Claw always ends the episode yelling out, "I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME, GADGET! NEXT TIIIIIME!"

KLEPTOMANIA

Here, I'll go over what I've collected over time of mad doctor paraphernalia in an attempt to better understand them.

First off, is it just me or does it seem like mad doctors are always wearing ties with their lab coats? Or at least bow ties. For this reason, I'm revealing my entire tie collection, a grand total of 30 (not all in the shots, like the one I was wearing at the time of the photo). Off the top of my head, I can name off Dr. Wily and Bill Nye of wearing some sort of necktie device. This tie in particular is the best I have for a mad doctor tie, being it's suppose to be for optometrists. I guess it would be rather interesting to see a mad eye doctor, wouldn't it?

Also, it wouldn't be much of a mad doctor collection without a few lab coats, right? Below, I have two lab coat, one that I now use as my painting coat and the other used for laughing evilly during electrical storms. This is by far the best part of being a mad doctor; I can't resist lab coats. They're just so spiffy.

WHERE'S WILY?

Last, but not least for today, I will be going on about my grand adventures in hunting down the elusive mad doctor. Now typically, the best area to be looking for these would be in a secret castle or some sort of strange laboratory. However, everyone knows that mad doctors can't resist funnel cakes. Therefore, the most logical answer is to search for mad doctors at the Minnesota State Fair.















After treating myself to a funnel cake, I came upon some robotic equipment that was judged. This, ladies and gentlemen, is how mad doctors fund their insane deeds. They enter contests like this in an attempt to get enough money to get plutonium so they can charge up their DeLorians so they can go to the future at 1.21 jigawatts.

Though it would probably be much easier to take out a bank loan, I approve of this method of getting some quick cash. However, I do believe a mad doctor was out for blood.

What we have here is a very dangerous robot. It even goes by Dr. Wily's naming scheme for his robots of "[Blank]man." What's most peculiar about this robot is that it not only looks like it wants to rip my spine out and jump rope with it (or if it had legs, it would), but also the megaphone (besides the fact it's in a very inappropriate spot; mad doctors can be so immature). Obviously, this means that this robot is capable of carrying on a conversation, which may or may not scare the crap out of me or anyone else depending on what it's saying. If it asks for a hug, just turn away. Everyone knows that robots don't have feelings therefore cannot desire hugs.

I'm pretty sure I found the mad doctor, too, though I wasn't able to get to him in time before he kidnapped someone.

The victim in question is known as Ashley, though has not been seen in almost a week, disappearing on Saturday. This is the last evidence of her existence before the abduction. I'm positive the mad doctor in this picture (disguised as a pickle so not to arouse any suspicion) was in charge of this nefarious crime, probably mistaking her for Penny. They're both blonde, anyways.

And that is all I have for this week. Keep an eye out for any mad doctors about.