Haunted House Fun Times Part 2

MAD DOCTOR OF THE WEEK

DEXTER

Technically, Dexter doesn't have a degree (being he's still in grade school), but counts for a mad doctor on the grounds that he is intelligent enough to have a giant lab hidden behind his bookcase and build mechs. He's mad in the fact that he hasn't solved a way to keep his sister Deedee out.

This brainy kid spends the majority of his time in his lab, making robots and lasers and awesome science stuff that most people would think impossible. In the show, conveniently named Dexter's Laboratory, the main gag is Dexter making something and his sister Deedee coming in and breaking things somehow.

His lab is unknown to his own parents, who apparently think he's reading books or something in his room all day and never come to realize the explosions and rockets going off are high-tech science equipment.

Oddly enough, Dexter has an accent that no one in his family has, his most famous line being, "DEEDEE, GET OUT OF MAH LAHBORITORY!"

OTHER FUN TIMES

Finals for this class are coming up soon, and mine is related to mad doctors. It'll more than likely be performance art. Keep your eyes out for that.

THE HAUNTED HOUSE, PART 2

And now, we finish off the second half of the haunted house!

Here's the room that I was in about five times. It's filled with old machinery for the factory. The job here is to direct people to this narrow walkway in a timely manner. I often times followed them while twitching so they sped up. Once they started walking down the passageway, I would take a shortcut to the end of the room, then start following the group again once I saw them. If they never noticed me, I would utter a, "bye." Other times, someone noticed me eventually and screamed.

They continue on to the dark room, where you hang onto a rope and walk through a dark room (creative names, here). Someone is assigned to go through the room and scare people, from either tugging on the rope or putting their hand on it to scare people holding onto it. At the very end, the lights will hit and a crazed butcher screams and smashes against some bars.

After this was the dot room, which involves eye tricks. The room is painted black aside from white and yellow dots on the walls. The performer is in a costume to imitate the walls. When the strobe light is on, the performer moves around to create an optical illusion for those walking through. It's a great concept, though people performing in the dot room probably went mad from the lights.

The cannibal room was after this. It was a commonly missed room because it's not directly in the way of the main path, and often times people would peek in rather than walk in. The room is designed to smell like rotting flesh, as the performer that was there every night had no sense of smell in the first place. After awhile, he found a giant spider puppet and started using that to scare people. The spider scared me once, too.

The corn field made a return from last year, as people found it particularly frightening. It's a big room with corn stalks hanging from the ceiling, with a fog machine and strobe light. Whoever was assigned to this room (I was in this one once) basically just snuck around and scared people as they wandered through.

The final area is the body bags/maze area. The first part of the room are filled with body bags that are attached to the ceiling, so they swing back and forth when walking through them. After this was a maze, where I was working at twice. The point of this area is to confuse customers and direct them the wrong way. I oddly found that people are very trusting of you in the maze, and often times take your advice on a way to go despite their better judgment.

This maze included a dead end that looped back to the body bag room (complete with an elderly lady to scare people), a room that makes loud noises when walking in, and the phones. The phones were made so when you pick up the correct phone, the lights go out. This gives the performer the chance to run in and get right next to the group before the lights are turned back on when the phone is put back on the receiver.

Another part of this room was the recording echo. When making a noise, an instrument picks it up and plays it back as an echo at different pitches. What I commonly would do is randomly kick the walls of the maze, and after kicking enough times, would make it sound like a stampede coming through. Other people would scream things like "Marco!" with someone going "Polo!" as a reply. There were times where customers screamed, heard their scream back, screamed again, and repeated the process a good number of times.

And that's the end of the haunted house. Make sure to get tickets next year if you didn't come this year!

Haunted House Fun Times

MAD DOCTOR OF THE WEEK


DR. STRANGELOVE

From the movie Dr. Strangelove or also known as How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, Dr. Strangelove is a former Nazi that designed the doomsday device the Russians used in the film.

Dr. Strangelove spends all his time in the film in the war room, bound to a wheelchair and having an uncontrollable arm. His arm has gone so far as to strangle him and even give the Nazi salute randomly as he's talking to others.

Being he designed the doomsday device, most of the characters ask him for advice on what to do next. Once the doomsday device goes off, the doctor suggests living underground and due to the population issue, believes that for every man should be ten women.

A fun fact about the film, the first test screening was scheduled on the same day as JFK was assassinated. Because of this event, they pushed back the film's release to January rather than weeks after the tragedy.

HAUNTED HOUSE MAD DOCTORS

It's finally time! The Soap Factory's Haunted Basement is now over and I'll go over the mad doctors involved.

Each night is always different, with different people volunteering and different numbers of volunteers. I often times was wearing a nurse outfit, sometimes with industrial gloves (other times we couldn't find one and couldn't use them). I was also commonly twitching my head throughout the days at the haunted house.

Another mad doctor was created by one of the people who commonly had the role of a clown. Wearing a red lab coat and a mask covered in blood, he worked with his other clown buddy and often times played the accordion.

One night, my boyfriend came along to help and we ended up being a mad doctor and nurse combo, me twitching at people and he slamming a shovel around in the boiler room.

THE HAUNTED ROOMS

Because mad doctors work at haunted houses (see above), it feels only right for me to go through each room involved and explain what happened.

When customers first walked in, there was a trained professional dressed as a priest that would fly around in a harness, sometimes looking like a disembodied head because of how dark the costume was in the dark basement. I never saw this myself, as I was always busy with my own room when they were flying.

The second room would be the doll room. Decorated as a bedroom with dolls decorated all around (thus the name), the person assigned to this room was responsible for three buttons: one made the blanket move by itself with air pistons, another made a doll move, and the final one caused the picture of Jesus Christ to spin uncontrollably on the wall. This room had a good number of "uncles" (the code word for when people give up and want to leave), as people are terrified to begin with from having to sign a waiver to get in.

The second room was the mirror room, a room that I had a role in twice. The original idea behind it had to be changed drastically due to timing issues, and later on had quite a few things removed to try to slow down customers who would go too fast for the actress to get a chance to scare them.

There are two rooms, one that the customers walk through and the other containing the actress. They were built to be a reflection of one another, being separated by one wall with a trick mirror. The one with the customers was lit and had a noose hanging from the ceiling (used to have a dummy resembling the actress but was removed, the noose was later removed as well on the final days). The mirror would show their reflection until the actress in the other room hit the lights, making the mirror into a window to see the other room. The scare that often happen was the mirror room girl would have a noose around her neck and play dead (don't worry, the noose had velcro), then click the lights off. On the second click, she would be up at the mirror and screaming and hitting the mirror, causing customers to go to the next room.

The next room was rather simple, though caught guests off guard. The floor was built to move when stepping in a certain spot, so when customers walked through, the floor would sink down.

The room after that was the clown room, making a return with some improvements since last year. This time, the room was modeled to be like a clown sactuary, with chairs and a pipe organ for the clowns to prey to their "Gods" (which were taxidermy animals with different animal parts put together, like a squirrel fish and an armadillo chicken). I was a clown twice. Levi was a clown every night except Halloween. Since clowns work best in numbers, it was almost garanteed that there were two clowns in the room at all times.

The scare that I often did with Levi would be me playing the organ while he pretends to be a clown dummy in the chairs. When customers walked in, Levi would wait for them to get far enough up the isle to leap up and yell. This was the signal for me to get up to yell, as the customers are looking at Levi. Then we drove them out of the room to the next one, sometimes chasing and sometimes insulting customers (signed a waiver, so they couldn't do anything).

Clowns chased the customers to the door room, which was a circular room with the walls being doors. What happens in this room is that customers are locked inside with no means out. People on the outside will either tease the customers by telling them things like, "It's the door on your left," or "Come on, jiggle some doorknobs." When they felt satisfied, the people on the outside would cause the room to spin around and flicker the lights. Sometimes someone would jump into the room after it was done spinning for another scare until customers were released to the next area.

The bridge was the next area, where customers cross a bridge to go near the TV creep area. I did the bridge area once. The role for the bridge person is to drive the people into the next area, often time smashing a shovel around and running at them to get them to keep going. They also have control over the fog machine in this area.

At the end of the bridge is a TV hooked up with a nightvision camera, displaying the customers on the TV. There's another camera in another room, where the performer would be located. The TV is designed so that it overlaps the two camera feeds, so when customers watch the TV, the performer in the other room looks as if they're in the same room. I did this room once. This room is often times the one that's dropped if there aren't enough volunteers during the night, being it's not particularly scary (though quite innovative).

In the next room were the skeletons. Generally having two performers involved, one would wear a hula outfit and the other in all black. The hula outfit one was used to make people more confortable as the lights flickered, dancing to the music. Eventually the lights would go on and the one in the black outfit would move, causing customers to freak out. The room is painted with special paint that shows up under a certain light, so the paint in the room would glow (like the crime scene outline on the ground with blood).

That's about half the room. Next week will be a tour of the final half!

Robot masters

MAD DOCTOR OF THE WEEK

DR. WILY

Another one from video games, Dr. Wily is the main antagonist for Capcom’s Megaman series. After working with Dr. Light with building some robots to help humanity, Wily steals six of them and sends them out to help him with world domination. It’s up to Dr. Light’s robot, Megaman, to go to each one and defeat them, learning new skills from each one.

Dr. Wily has the classic foreboding evil castle as his hide-a-way, though it’s a bit of a give-a-way being it’s always in the shape of a skull. It looks great, though, and that’s what matters most. He’s a genius with robotics and has some of the most obvious plans that no one ever seems to notice, like disguising himself as a mysterious figure and runs a robot tournament. Sometimes his plans can be a bit farfetched, such as using the game of soccer to take over the world. Got to give the man creativity points, though.

Fun facts, most fans will note that there are always eight robot masters in every Megaman game. However, the first game only contained six. Also, the most recent Megaman game (Megaman 9) features the first female-based robot masters (all other ones follow the [blank]man scheme of naming and modeling, such as Cutman or Heatman).

PERSONAL REVELATION

Recently, I’ve been thinking of having an alias I want to be known by in terms of my artwork, kind of like a pen name. I always wanted something with the doctor title before it so I could get away with the title without having the actual certification (Dr. Suess does the same thing; brilliant man, he is).

After much pondering of something that I think represents me in the best manner, I decided on having “Dr. Luck” as an alias. The reasons being that first, I have an obsession with anything card or gambling games related. I don’t gamble, but I adore the designs of cards, poker chips, roulette tables, and so on. The artwork and design involved with them is something that has made me seriously consider working at a casino.

Second, my friends think I cheat all the time because I win quite often at cards. They’re just sore losers. They’re the first to go after my world domi--I mean when the apocalypse strikes.

A FRIENDLY REMINDER

This week is your last chance to get to the Soap Factory’s haunted basement! Next week I’ll probably have pictures up and details about it once it’s over so not to spoil the surprise. Order your tickets online! Remember, it goes to November 2!

MAD DOCTOR OF THE WEEK

DR. ROBOTNIK

From the Sonic the Hedgehog video game series, Robotnik is the main villain throughout the run. Way back from in the first Sonic game for the Sega Genesis, Robotnik (also known as Dr. Eggman) has been always battling the blue hedgehog in an attempt for world domination. Oddly enough, his main plans of world domination involve putting small animals in robots to power them. Throughout the games, Sonic must free the animals and reach the end of the level to defeat Robotnik.

As games went on, Robotnik's animals-in-robots plot weakens as he does other methods, such as shooting a giant cannon at the earth if his demands aren't met, making a robotic version of Sonic, and other such shenaningans. Though fans have claimed the Sonic series has fell from its original grace, Robotnik still stands as a completely awesome mad doctor with his 300 IQ points.

Fun facts, Robotnik was actually originally designed to be the main hero of the games during a contest, but was beaten out by Sonic. Though, in return, he was made into the main villain. Also, the first Sonic games only featured Sonic and Robotnik, later in adding Tails and Knuckles and other such characters as the games went on.

Robotnik's actual name in Japanese is Eggman, but was changed to Robotnik in America. During Sonic Adventure, Sonic Team decided to try to ween away from the Robotnik name for the Japanese name, so had Sonic and his friends tease Robotnik by calling him Eggman. Though he was quite offended by this nickname in Adventure, he adopted the name and actually refers to himself as Eggman in Adventure 2.

MAD CREATIONS

Another mad doctor I have made would be Jasper's grandson, Riley Zinc. Unlike his relative, Riley is more of a failed doctor (he's actually a mucisian). The mad part is more of his specialty, having a large array of paranoia issues and other mental illnesses such as depression and insomnia.

He isn't much for taking over the world. His main goal in life is pretty much not to get mauled by the everyday happenings he seems to suffer. Riley's bad luck never seems to end, from being blamed for a murder that he didn't commit, various injuries from ridiculous situations, and even being chased down by a cannibal at one point.

Another thing is that he has a complete phobia of anything supernatural, being highly superstitious. He spends his day on Friday the 13th behind a couch with a bicycle helmet.

OTHER MAD THINGS

Remember, Soap Factory's haunted basement goes until November 2nd! You should totally buy your tickets online and go through! It changes every night, but there are some mad doctor things involved during certain nights! I'll be more detailed after November 2nd, so you can come and enjoy the ride.

Two sides to every story

MAD DOCTOR OF THE WEEK

DR. JEKYLL

Another classic character, from The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. As the story goes, Jekyll is a scientist that creates a potion that lets him turn into another identity. By doing this, he lets his alternate self (Hyde) run around committing crimes, knowing he won't get in trouble for it because he doesn't look anything like Jekyll. Eventually, he randomly changes into Hyde without the use of the potion and instead needs the potion to turn back to Jekyll. To make matters worse, he runs out of a very important ingredient for the potion and eventually pertinently changes into Hyde, who kills himself thinking the authorities are after him for a murder he committed.

This is a classic mad doctor that I like. Not only is it a crazy idea, but he doesn't whine about his situation like Frankenstein but rather scientifically says the equivalent of, "Uhh... oops. This can't possibly be good."

Some fun facts, Hyde is not actually a hulking monster like most movies show him as. He's actually a human that's smaller than Jekyll, being the book often times makes fun of Hyde for being too small to fit in Jekyll's clothes.

SCIENTIFIC WRITINGS

I actually wrote an essay about Jekyll and Hyde once.

Jekyll’s Diagnosis

INTRODUCTION

Mr. Hyde was accused of committing murder and other crimes in Robert Louis Stevenson’s The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde from 1886. Is it the fault of Jekyll and Hyde of classic literature for unleashing the menace against humanity or did he have no control over his actions? People who are diagnosed with the psychological illness called dissociative identity disorder (DID), also known as multiple personality disorder, see Jekyll’s point of view when their other self acts against their own intention without control. However, does that mean that Jekyll understands the point of view of people with DID? This essay will examine how the tale of Jekyll and Hyde differs from the contemporary diagnosis of DID. In order to accomplish this, the original story of The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde will be fully explained. This essay will also address the historical context of the story of Jekyll and Hyde and the cultural relationship between dissociative identity disorder and Jekyll and Hyde.

DEFINITION
“DID is a severe condition in which two or more distinct identities, or personality states, are present in -- and alternately take control of -- an individual” (Psychology Today). To most people, this sounds like the core idea behind the story of Jekyll and Hyde. Jekyll, a respected 19th century British scientist, turned into Hyde, a complete madman, who ran rampant through the city and killed a man. In reality, the original story differs from the definition of DID and this essay will explain how Jekyll does not represent the symptoms of this mental disorder.

PLOT SUMMARY
To explain this concept further, one must understand the plot behind The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. In the story, Jekyll creates a potion that transforms him into a smaller man who looks nothing like his former self. The doctor decides to take advantage of this discovery and prances around his neighborhood doing whatever he pleases, released from the binds of maintaining a formal respectable identity. Jekyll, prior to creating his potion, was strict to keep a good image of himself and was well liked. He desired to be able to do whatever he wished without the consequence of being persecuted. In the Victorian era, “The story is about the repressed, empty lives of upper-middle-class professional men, whose insistence on a public appearance of restraint and respectability goes against their own human nature” (MacLachlan). As time goes on, he names his other identity as Mr. Hyde. Hyde develops a personality based on all the sins he commits. After awhile, Jekyll begins randomly turning into Hyde without the aid of the potion and he panics, promising to never use the potion again. Temptation gets the better of Jekyll and he drinks the potion again; Hyde is now wild and kills Danvers Carew, a member of Parliament, over being locked up for so long. Since Jekyll was using the potion to transform so often, it gets to the point where he is only able to turn back into his normal self with the potion. He runs out of the main ingredient for this elixir and records his story before he finally turns into Hyde permanently. Hyde commits suicide, when trapped in his office while being pursued for murder.

CAUSE OF DID
Symptoms and the details of DID vary, as do the causes for the disorder. One of the major contributing factors for DID is abuse as a child, though it is not the specific cause. “In addition, some people were not abused at all, but rather, suffered an important early loss, such as the death of a parent, a serious physical illness, or some other very stressful experience” (Merck Online Medical Library). This is the key difference between Jekyll and individuals who suffer from DID. Jekyll chose to drink his potion to transform into Hyde; he had no psychological issues before experimenting on himself. It was his own free will that caused him to switch over to Hyde, not some stressful childhood event that led to his choice. At one point of the story, Jekyll swore he would never drink the potion again, but gives into temptation. It is his own actions that make it so he later can’t control his transformations, not the result of medical illness.

DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES
Patients have different reactions to DID and means for communication with their other personalities, ranging from continuality struggling between one another, to acting as the leader. One patient described having multiple personalities like this: “it’s like sitting in the back seat, someone else is driving, and I’m in the car” (Saks 12). Yet another patient described it as a “tug of war,” fighting over who would remain in control. Jekyll doesn’t communicate to any other personality within his mind prior to drinking his potion, and at first the switch between personalities is entirely drug induced. It’s only when Jekyll abuses the potion that Hyde takes over.

PHYSICAL CHANGE
DID involves more than one personality inside one mind, though some patients hallucinate and see themselves in a different body. There is no transformation or any physical change that happens to a person with DID. Jekyll, after drinking the potion, physically transforms into Hyde. This is one of the reasons that Jekyll was constantly tempted to switch back to Hyde; he could go out and do he wished without anyone realizing it was him. Lanyon, a friend of Jekyll, describes his meeting with Hyde.
“Here, at last, I had a chance to clearly see him. I had never set eyes on him before, so much was certain. He was small, as I said; I was struck besides the shocking expression on his face, and great apparent debility of constitution, and—last but not least—with the odd, subjective disturbance caused by his neighborhood…. This person (who had thus, from the first moment of his entrance, struck in me what I can only describe as a disgusting curiosity) was dressed in a fashion that would have made an ordinary person laughable; his clothes, that is to say, although they were of rich and sober fabric, were enormously too large for him to every measurement—the trousers hanging on his legs and rolled up to keep them from the ground, the waist of the coat below his haunches, and the collar sprawling wide upon his shoulders.” (Stevenson 57)

Of course, DID patients don’t physically change.

COUNTER ARGUMENTS
It could be said that there are some parts of DID that Jekyll does fit quite well. Medically, one of the diagnostic criteria of DID is “the presence of two or more distinct identities or personality states (each with its own relatively enduring pattern of perceiving, relating to, and thinking about the environment itself)” (DSM-IV-TR 529). His symptoms also relate to having “at least two of these identities or personality states recurrently take control of the person’s behavior” (DSM-IV-TR 529). The issue with this line of thinking is that Jekyll would be dismissed of having DID under the criteria of “the disturbance is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance…” (DSM-IV-TR 529). Due to the fact that he uses a potion to gain the effects of having another personality, he cannot be diagnosed with DID.

GOOD VERSUS EVIL
From a doctor named Theodore Dalrymple, “In fact, my patients who explain their own evil conduct by reference to Jekyll and Hyde exactly overturn the meaning… of The Strange Case…” (Dalrymple 24). Jekyll and Hyde is not an explanation of DID. Stevenson wrote the book for the purpose of examining the existence of good and evil in everyone. “… The moralizing interpretation. Jekyll's attempt to split off his evil side into Hyde leads to its growth and development. Hyde becomes Jekyll's disguise when he wants to indulge his evil nature, but too frequent indulgence in secret vice corrupts Jekyll. The story has a moral message like that of Faust, except that temptation comes from within Jekyll himself” (MacLachlan). There is never any reference within the literature about DID and makes no association with it. Stevenson was writing a story to reflect on the age, when Darwin’s ideas were being considered in contrast to the morals of the late Victorian era. Jekyll represented the typical, upstanding Victorian. “Darwinian dismay - Charles Darwin's evolutionary theory shocked Victorians with the idea that humans are basically animals. Hyde represents the primitive, animal side of human nature, which is closer than Victorians liked to think” (MacLachlan).

INTRO TO FILM ERRORS
The image of Jekyll in popular culture is constantly twisted from the original plot. One of the main reasons people may mistake Jekyll as suffering from DID is that many people are misinformed by other media regarding the original intent of his story. In fact, many adaptations to the original story completely disregard any ideas behind the book such as the evil within oneself and the character of Hyde, warping the idea behind Jekyll beyond even the definition of good versus evil or DID.

MONSTER HYDE
Many films love to take the idea of Hyde and make him a literal monster, smashing enemies left and right with nothing standing in his way. In the original story, Hyde is a human being and does not at any point turn into a creature to wreck havoc around London literally.

In the 2004 film Van Helsing, the main character (Helsing) is sent by the church to defeat Mr. Hyde, who has been killing innocents and leaving the corpses on the sidewalk. Helsing follows the trail of corpses to a church. Hyde, who viewers could easily mistake for the Incredible Hulk, confronts the hero as he enters the church. Hyde swings from the ceiling supports of the church and duels with Helsing, smacking him around as if he were a fly and taking shots from the hero’s crossbow. The battle eventually leads to the roof to the church. Helsing falls from the side of the building and pulls out a hook shot, shooting it through Hyde’s chest as the main character plummets. Hyde balances precariously on the edge of the roof and nervously watches as Helsing yanks the cord of the hook shot, causing Hyde to fall. During the fall, Hyde changes into Jekyll and dies on impact, making it convenient for Helsing to call the mission of Hyde’s death a success.

Another example of Monster Hyde is 2003 film The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Though Jekyll is shown drinking his potion to turn into Hyde, Hyde himself is represented as a monster, again resembling very much like the Incredible Hulk. The situation itself is the same as Van Helsing in terms of Hyde becoming an actual monster rather than a human being showing Jekyll’s dark side. It also introduces Jekyll talking to Hyde in his mind, which would be a misinterpretation of thinking Jekyll has this as a DID-like symptom.

SUPERNATURAL HYDE
Another way films and TV shows like to depict Hyde is as a supernatural being and having strength comparable to Hercules. An example of this would be the Tom and Jerry short “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Mouse” from 1947. In the episode, Tom gets angry at Jerry for stealing his milk. Taking the bowl of milk, Tom creates a concoction with it in hopes of poisoning Jerry. Unfortunately for Tom, Jerry ends up gaining supernatural strength from the potion and proceeds to beat Tom until the potion runs dry. Jerry experiences no evil side when he drinks the potion, only becoming powerful and using it to gain revenge on Tom. There is no personality change since Jerry typically plays tricks on Tom even when he has no potion.

KILLER SPREE HYDE
Another misinterpreted adoption from the original story changes Hyde from being guilty for killing one man to Hyde being guilty of killing a large amount of innocent people. In the 1999 animated film Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Hyde is not only shown as resembling a monster, but he also happily explores London while clobbering people with his cane. His cane eventually shows signs of damage from all the people Hyde murders with it. Jekyll also is commanded by Hyde to make a will made out to him, unlike the original plot of Jekyll doing it on his free will just in case. This again shows a DID-like symptom of talking to voices.

Mary Reilly (1996) took the classic story and wrote it in the point of view of one of Jekyll’s maids, Mary Reilly. As Mary gets to know Hyde, there are several occasions that he ruthlessly kills. He kills not only people who stay at a run-down apartment, but also the owner of the building when she requests to see Jekyll about Hyde living on her property. Hyde has intentions of killing Mary, but he cannot bring himself to commit the deed because of his lust for her.

COMPLETE PLOT CHANGE
Some adaptations, though claiming to be a film about Jekyll and Hyde, completely twist the plot away from the original story. The 1920 silent film Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde adds a love interest for Jekyll. Her father, however, does not approve of Jekyll associating himself with Hyde. Hyde kills the father in a fit of rage and hides in Jekyll’s laboratory. He switches back to Jekyll who locks himself in the laboratory in fear of transforming into Hyde again. His love interest knocks on the door and just as he is about to let her in, he transforms into Hyde. After Hyde scares her off, he commits suicide with poison as Utterson (Jekyll’s lawyer), Poole, (Jekyll’s butler), and Lanyon (Jekyll’s friend) run into his laboratory. Hyde switches back to Jekyll after his death, leading the three men to tell Jekyll’s girlfriend that Hyde killed Jekyll to avoid telling her the truth.

VEGGIE TALES
In a strange spin on the story, the Christian cartoon Veggie Tales decided to take the story of Jekyll and Hyde and make a cartoon of it, disregarding everything associated with the original story. One of the characters of the show even asks about telling the story of Jekyll of Hyde, commenting nervously that it was a bit scary. Another character replies, “Not if you don’t tell it that way!”

In the Veggie Tales adaptation of Jekyll and Hyde, known as “Dr. Jiggle and Mr. Sly,” a carrot and cucumber discuss among themselves about the appearance of Mr. Sly, a squash with an afro and disco outfit that comes out every night to dance. The cucumber represents Poole, even though Poole is suppose to be Jekyll’s butler. The cucumber acts more like the carrot’s sidekick. The carrot is presumably Utterson, though the carrot’s name shares no relation with Utterson’s name. The carrot wishes to find the identity of Mr. Sly, having issues with his dancing despite the cucumber enjoying the dances. The cucumber and carrot talk to Dr. Jiggle, a squash with weight issues lamenting over not being able to dance like Mr. Sly. One night, Mr. Sly is dancing when his disguise is pulled off him, revealing to be Dr. Jiggle. The carrot and cucumber help Dr. Jiggle, who claims to not be able to dance. The moral of the cartoon is that God made everyone for a reason, therefore there’s no point in pretending to be someone else.

The issue with this cartoon is that it not only takes the idea of Jekyll and Hyde and completely changes it beyond comprehension, but it is being presented to children as the “non-scary” version of The Strange Case of Jekyll and Hyde and giving them the wrong idea of the plot at a young age. The idea is the opposite of the original intent of the story; it changes from a story about giving into temptation to one about loving oneself. Altering the story for a younger audience is understandable, but this went far beyond the boundaries.

TRANSFORMATION
The original story revealed the transformation sequence at the very end of the story, being the plot twist of the mystery. The reader is meant to view the story treating Jekyll and Hyde as two different people until it’s revealed at the very end that they’re the same person. Since everyone in the present know that Jekyll and Hyde are one entity thanks for it being a literary classic, the majority of film adaptations show the transformation sequence quite early in the story rather than saving it for the end. There are different variations of the transformation as well. In the original story, Lanyon witnesses Hyde changing into Jekyll much to his shock and horror.

“He put the glass to his lips and drank at one gulp. A cry followed; he reeled, staggered, clutched at the table and held on, staring with injected eyes, gasping with open mouth; and as I looked there came, I thought, a change—he seemed to swell—his face became suddenly black and the features seemed to melt and alter—and the next moment, I had sprung to my feet and leaped back against the wall, my arm raised to shield me from that prodigy, my mind submerged in terror.” (Stevenson 60)

In Mary Reilly, the transformation is shown with a body emerging from Hyde’s as he turns back onto Jekyll. A baby’s cry is heard as Jekyll is “reborn” as his body parts overpower Hyde’s, making Hyde’s head and limbs shrink into nothing inside his body. Though it is very well done and even saved for the very end, it does introduce the idea of being “reborn” that was not a part of the original story. Van Helsing and the silent film Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde both have Jekyll and Hyde randomly transform without the potion, with Van Helsing having Hyde switch back to Jekyll conveniently as he is falling to his doom and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde having Jekyll turn into Hyde and Hyde switching back to Jekyll without the potion. Jekyll accidentally turning into Hyde was a part of the original idea, but not Hyde switching back to Jekyll without a potion. Veggie Tales didn’t even have a transformation, but rather the squash in a different outfit.

CONCLUSION
When it comes to the diagnosis of Dr. Jekyll, the medical condition of DID is not an accurate description of his issues in The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He shares little relation to patients with DID and his original purpose for the story was a representation of good versus evil in one being rather than having a split personality. He willingly takes the potion to transforms and starts off having full control when Hyde came out. Films can be to blame with all the confusion about the story of Jekyll and Hyde, making Hyde out to be a monster killing machine and disregarding the original context of the book. In the end, Jekyll’s true diagnosis is simply giving into temptation.

Bibliography

Dalrymple, Theodore. “Mr. Hyde & the Epidemiology of Evil.” The New Criterion
Sept 2004: 24-28.

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders: Fourth Edition. Text Revision.
DSM-IV-TR. Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Association, 2000.

“Dissociative Identity Disorder.” The Merck Online Medical Library. Feb. 2003.
Merck. 26 February 2008 .

“Dissociative Identity Disorder.” 24 Oct. 2005. Psychology Today. 26 February 2008.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Dir. John Stuart Robertson. Perf. John Barrymore,
Martha Mansfield, Louis Wolheim. Image Entertainment. 1920.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Goldhil Home Media. 14 December 1999.

“Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Mouse.” Tom and Jerry. Fred Quimby. 14 June 1947.

“Dr. Jiggle and Mr. Sly.” Veggie Tales. Warner Bros. 2004.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Dir. Stephen Norrington. Perf. Sean Connery,
Naseeruddin Shah, Jason Flemyng. 2003. DVD. Angry Films, 2003.

MacLachlan, C J M. “EN1003 Ghosts and Doubles: Lecture Outline: Robert Louis
Stevenson, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.” Dr. MacLachlan’s Homepage.
11 April 2008.

Mary Reilly. Dir. Stephen Frears. Perf. Julia Roberts, John Malkovich. 1996. DVD.
TriStar Pictures, 1996.

Saks, Elyn and Behnke, Stephen. Jekyll on Trial. New York and London: New York
University Press, 1997.

Stevenson, Robert Louis. The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. New York:
Barnes & Noble Books, 2005.

Van Helsing. Dir. Stephen Sommers. Perf. Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale,
Richard Roxburgh. 2004. DVD. Universal Pictures, 2004.

MORE FUN TIMES

Speaking of freaky things, the Soap Factory is totally doing the haunted house thing. I'm going to be working there almost every night because I love it so much. I would say more on the subject, such as possible mad doctors involved int the haunted house, but that really ruins the fun.

So what you should do is pay $15 and get your ticket online, then come and see for yourself.

You know you want to.

Lack of Disney doctors

MAD DOCTOR OF THE WEEK

DR. FRANKENSTEIN

It should've been pretty obvious who was up next after last week's Mad Doctor of the Week. Anyways, Frankenstein comes from the old Mary Shelley tale (conveniently named Frankenstein) of a doctor that tries to bring back the dead. Of course, old literature is all about one's own perception of the story, so I'm going to tell you mine and pose it as the correct way of thinking.

To begin with, most people mistaken Frankenstein as the monster. This probably comes from years of calling the monster "Frankenstein's monster" and taking the doctor's name from that, being the monster is never given an actual name in the story. The story goes of Frankenstein's life biography as he's telling this to a captain on his deathbed (he was found wandering around the artic by a ship). It starts off with his early life events, such as the death of his mother and hanging out with his friend Henry.

Later on, he becomes obsessed with the idea of bringing back the dead (I once had a debate over this with a judge at a speech tournament over the motive, my side being he has an ideal of eventually resurrecting his mother while the speech judge flat out told me he wasn't bringing back the dead in the first place...?). Either way, he gets body parts and mends them together, and somehow brings it to life (unlike most films, Frankenstein is never actually specific on how it comes to be, so no lightning strikes). Horrified of what he has created, Frankenstein flees as the monster runs amok.

Eventually it becomes a tragic tale, the monster killing off everyone the doctor holds dear and Frankenstein hunting for the monster until his death (thus why he was in the artic). The monster also dies in the end, but I completely forget why.

For his personality, Frankenstein is constantly whining about something. Honestly, I wanted to smack him across the face during the book on each page. What's worse is that at one point he charges at his monster to fight him, which would've been an awesome clash of creator vs. created and made the book ultra awesome. However, the monster stops Frankenstein and whines about its life (like father like son, I guess). Not the most ideal quality for a mad doctor, but he is crazy and is a doctor.

SCIENTIFIC GOOGLING

After looking up a series of evil songs on YouTube, I have come to the conclusion that there are no mad doctor Disney villains (unless you count the Mickey Mouse short "The Mad Doctor," which I'm not being it's not a full length film). There's how many different villains, from sea witches to a fashion fanatic wanting to skin puppies to a rapist minister. There's one point where Yzma from The Emporer's New Groove dons a mad doctor outfit, but other than that, there's nothing.

This is a great disappointment to me, being Disney has some awesome villains. A mad doctor added to the cast would be a wonderful thing. For this reason, I hope Disney does an adaptation of a story that includes some sort of mad doctor (or just toss one in for the hell of it).

On an odd note, Frollo (though a rapist minister) is a really neat villain. He also has an awesome song. Too bad he's not a doctor.

SCIENTIFIC THEORIES

Speaking of Disney villain songs, think of how great it would be if a mad doctor villain had his/her own song in a Disney movie. It would be the greatest thing on the planet earth, and the most watched YouTube video ever (until I got the mp3) from me listening to it for the rest of my life. Mad doctor songs in general are just incredibly awesome, Dr. Horrible being an excellent example and the Young Frankenstein musical that needs to start doing a U.S. tour before I freak out in a epilepic fit.

If a Disney villain was made and had his/her own song in a film (Disney really need to get back to having characters sing exposition unlike their recent habits; it was the best part of the movies), I think I would have a dawning upon me and realize my true meaning in life would be, going forth and taking over the world and having everyone obey my every command.

... On second thought, that's probably why they haven't made a mad doctor villain for a full Disney movie yet.

Bringing back the dead

MAD DOCTOR OF THE WEEK

YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN

From the Mel Brooks' film Young Frankenstein, Frankenstein (pronounced Frawk-en-steen) is left with is relative's research, castle, and everything, and after some prodding, attempts to bring back the dead. This movie is basically a parody on older Frankenstein movies, complete with an Igor character (pronounced eye-gore), a cliche castle with dramatic lightning, and of course, a really crazy looking doctor. This is regarded as one of Mel Brooks' greatest creations and one of the top films of comedy of all time.

Frankenstein at first refuses to have anything to do with his relative's work (Victor Frankenstein, from Mary Shelly's original novel), completely convinced that he was bonkers. He himself is a teacher about neuology and starts the film off with explaining how the brain works. Eventually, he reads through the process Victor did and sees that it could actually work, trying the experiment himself. It doesn't turn out well, as Igor gave him an "abby normal" brain to put into his creation, making him completely unstable. After challenging himself as a scientist and approaches the creature in a locked room, he realizes what he is and proclaims his name to be the correct pronunciation of Frankenstein from then on.

A fun fact about this film, it's been recently adapted into a musical (much like how Mel Brooks adapted his original The Producers film into a musical) and is currently a huge hit on Broadway.

SCIENTIFIC GOOGLING

Recently, this week, I've come across a comic book series that is not only a well written comedy with beautiful art, but also includes a mad doctor.

The Spirit is about a cop who gets killed within the first three pages of the opening comic, but comes back with the alias of the Spirit. The series is generally about the Spirit (originally Danny Colt) solving mysteries that are often times bizarre or silly in nature. The Spirit himself is unlike most superheroes, who is far more accident prone than any other and is the sheer definition of an underdog. For example, in one comic, the Spirit is recovering from being shot in the back and tossed in a river, also having a cast on his arm. He has to go and help solve a mystery, where he's beaten and has crates of whisky dropped onto him. To make matters worse, he has to go deliver a message and gets hit by a car on his way there all in the same issue.

The important detail here is how the Spirit returns from the dead. Dr. Cobra, one of the villains of the comics, brings him back (accidentally) with a chemical, which causes the Spirit to be in a suspended animation. I have yet to find the specific comics where Dr. Cobra appears, but rest assured, I bought plenty of comics after descovering The Spirit and fully intending on finding out more about this mad doctor.

SCIENTIFIC THEORIES

Have you ever stop to notice the stereotype of mad doctors? After some thinking, I've come up with a list of things a good majority of mad doctors share in common (aside from the whole being "mad" and being a doctor thing, that's a bit obvious):

• Most mad doctors are men.
• Most mad doctors wear lab coats.
• Most mad doctors dress professionally, such as wearing a tie.
• Most mad doctors are middle aged.
• Most mad doctors are caucasian.
• Most mad doctors are exceptionally bright.
• Most mad doctors have a really awesome/creepy laugh.
• Most mad doctors have crazy hair.
• Most mad doctors are completely dedicated to science.
• Most mad doctors come up with the most wild, bizarre (and in some cases, idiotic) theories.
• Most mad doctors have some weird compusion (example: The Doc and time, Jekyll and his chemical, Robotnik and taking over the world with small woodland animals in robots).
• Most mad doctors have some sort of bad temperment (Young Frankenstein, Dr. Wily, House).
• Most mad doctors have little to no friends.
• Most mad doctors stay up late at night.
• Most mad doctors are single.

Sherlock is a mad doctor?

MAD DOCTOR OF THE WEEK

It’s that magical time again! This week is…

DR. HOUSE

From House, M.D., House is the leading character (as the name of the show suggests) that specializes in helping patients that have unknown illnesses. He’s brilliant in this regard as he treats all cases as if they were a mystery, somehow always able to find out what it is in the end. He has a team of doctors that work under his wing, changing between the first three seasons and season four, that he uses to bounce ideas off of and come up with solutions.

House is one of the very odd cases that refuse to wear a lab coat, preferring not to stick out as a doctor. He also has a problem with his thigh, not only leading him to have an addiction to Vicodine but have to walk with a cane. It’s interesting in the show’s first episode that it’s pointed out by House that people, “Don’t like to be treated by a sick doctor.” House has many different theories about how people work and loves to use analogies when he’s explaining medical illnesses. His most notable catch phrase is, “Everybody lies,” where House will refuse to believe anything the patient says unless backed up by evidence.

The “mad” part about him would be his method of treatment, where he puts the patient at risk almost every episode to find out what’s wrong. This varies from giving patients untested medication that in theory should help them, causing patients to have seizures or heart attacks to find another symptom, bringing back a coma patient temporarily only to find out history about another patient, temporarily “killing” a young girl with cancer to do an operation that is impossible to do on a living being, and so many other things. He’s also been hinted at having Asperger's, but in all honesty, that’s the least of everyone’s worries.

Some fun facts about House, he’s actually played by a British man. It’s a little weird to be hearing interviews with the actor, being it’s almost like watching House make fun of the British.

Another interesting fact is that the show is inspired and based on the Sherlock Holmes series. House represents Holmes, who both are brilliant with mysteries, both have social issues (Sherlock is also an asshole), and both having drug addictions (Sherlock takes them when he’s not on the case, pretty much because he’s bored).

Wilson, House’s best friend and cancer doctor, represents Watson. They both have a history of having multiple relationships (Wilson constantly is dating someone. Watson, depending on how it’s interpreted, can have as few as two wives to many others throughout the Sherlock series.), they both are the “emotional” one (they’re both good with people and have a knack for calming people down).

There’s other parts of the show that relate to the Sherlock series, one good example would be the end of the second season. A patient shoots House. Though the name of the patient is never mentioned, in the end credits, the name for the character is specified as “Moriarty,” who is the notorious villain of the Sherlock series that matches Holmes with brilliance and at one point has a duel with him on top of a waterfall to kill him.

One last relationship between the two series is that House lives at 221B Baker Street. This is the same address Sherlock lives at.

SCIENTIFIC THEORIES

This time, I will be talking about the difference between a “mad doctor” and a “mad scientist.” It’s very important to be educated about the difference.

First off, a mad scientist suggest someone who is in the field of science, making inventions (such as death beams, robots, a brain switcher thing, ect.), chemicals, having a henchmen, being surrounded by lots of flashy things and machines that no one has any idea what they even do, and so on.

Now, a mad doctor is someone that is more in the field of medical treatment. These guys are a bit more creepy than quirky, as they do things such as experimenting on human bodies, replacing organs with robot parts, trying to bring back the dead, and so on. One example would be Jack the Ripper, another being the crazy guy from the Mickey Mouse cartoon “The Mad Doctor.”

The reason I choose to use the term “mad doctor” rather than “mad scientist” is that a mad scientist specifically targets the first group, with scientific experiments and all that fun stuff. “Mad doctor” can refer to both at once, being that it not only describes the weird medical doctors, but it also can have the scientists in this category too. Scientists are doctors, after all. Just different kinds of doctors. However, not all doctors are scientists.

In conclusion, the best term to use for this concept is “mad doctor,” not “mad scientist.”

EVIL CREATIONS

In this section, I will go on about things that I myself have created that relates to the field of mad doctery.

This week, I’ll be introducing the character pictured in the last Scientific Theories section: Dr. Jasper Zinc. He’s a character I’ve mad that fits into a story I make for comics.

Now, Jasper isn’t evil. It’s not to say he’s really that nice of a guy, either. His field of expertise is chemicals, being one of the best in his field of study with notable discoveries and is incredibly bright. Because of this, he’s pretty smug. I mean, ultra smug. He brags a lot. If you were in an elevator with him, you would suffocate in his ego. Then again, he wouldn’t be in the elevator in the first place because he’s claustrophobic.

The biggest detail about Jasper is that he’s got a sever temper issue. It doesn’t take much to make him angry and he has an unhealthy way of relieving stress (most if not all the time getting into fist fights over questionable arguments). Jasper is incredibly violent and is not afraid to swing first or even pull out a gun, though he’s a lousy shot. The best solution is to run away, because Jasper’s athletic ability is laughable at best. In a matter of seconds of chasing, Jasper will probably stop and wheeze from running too much. He also has a weight issue because he always gives into his sweet tooth. Don’t tease him if he’s hungry, though. He gets cranky. And violent.

Now, Jasper isn’t filled completely with bad qualities. He’s actually very reliable with situations and goes out of his way to make sure his friends and family are safe. This isn’t too difficult of a task for him, being he doesn’t exactly have a large array of friends because of his “quirks,” but those he does have he’ll defend to the very end.

Now if only he would stop trying to punch people when being sent to anger management.

Mad doctors in Minneapolis

And here we are again!

MAD DOCTOR OF THE WEEK


DR. FORRESTER

From the Mystery Science Theater 3000 series, Dr. Forrester is the main antagonist. The theme song for the show explains the entire plot with Forrester launching Joel or Mike (depending on the season) into space and forcing him to watch bad movies from the Satellite of Love. He has a henchmen named TV's Frank who always bumbles around, and in very early seasons had a fellow mad doctor help him with his experiments. When the actor of Forrester left the show, Forrester's mother (Pearl) took over as the mad doctor responsible for making Mike or Joel watch terrible movies.

The basic formula for the show was that it would begin with Forrester introducing the bad movie that Mike or Joel had to watch, then would send them into the theater with two robot friends to make fun of the movie (with Crow and Tom Servo). After watching the whole movie, it would wrap up the episode with Forrester observing the effects of either Mike or Joel and the robots.

The entire show was pretty much an excuse to make fun of bad movies, but it still had good characters and a brilliant (if silly) plot. Some facts about this show, this was actually created in Minnesota, a lot of the earlier seasons having Servo telling viewers to send any mail to Hopkins. Also, Trace Beaulieu (who played Dr. Forrester) also did the voice of Crow when he was on the show, with Bill Corbett taking over when he left the show.

WHERE'S WILY?

I'm off again searching for mad doctors! This time I recorded my explorations with my adventuring buddies Rick and Krem. It's broken up into seven parts.

We start off our adventure by going towards downtown Minneapolis.
Then it's to the Target store, then convinced to buy shoes.
We go down what I like to call Scientology Street.
Rick explores a water temple.
Free money from the bank for Krem.
There is a space worm in the sky here.
We conclude our adventures with an interview and a bite to eat.

MAD MUSIC

Here, I finds songs that relate to mad doctors. Because supplying you with mp3s would be illegal, I'm linking YouTube videos to the songs.

I'm Going Slightly Mad by Queen
Weird Science by Oingo Boingo
She Blinded Me With Science by Thomas Dolby
Funny Farm by Dr. Demento (a mad doctor made this one)
Mystery Science Theater 3000 Theme Song
Unwell by Matchbox 20 (mad doctors are sensitive)
Bill Nye the Science Guy Theme Song

Also Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog can be found on YouTube, all the songs. Fun times for all!

Sing-Alongs and DeLoreans

Here are the three sections for this week, first off with:

MAD DOCTOR OF THE WEEK

THE DOC

From the Back to the Future series, the Doc isn't about taking over the world. In fact, he's a protagonist in these stories, though still mad and a doctor. Played by Christopher Lloyd, the Doc is fascinated with time and builds his own time machine, wanting to see 30 years into the future. Of course, instead of making this time machine out of anything logical, the Doc decides to make it out of a DeLorean (he claims that if you're going to make a time machine, it's got to have style).

After his successful test run of his beloved time machine, the Doc gets shot by terrorists he was involved with (he really needed the plutonium) and Marty, his right hand man with his experiment recording, flees in the DeLorean and ends up time traveling to 1955, when the movie takes place in the 80's. To get back to his own time, Marty has to team up with the 1955 Doc and get Marty back to where he belong, all while trying to keep the space/time continuum intact and try to warn the Doc of his own future.

The Doc has a habit of refusing to want to know about the future or change time from how it should be, but always ends up going, "Eh, it won't do much damage, anyways." He also loves making model examples to demonstrate his plans to Marty, going to great care to add all little details to it even though none of it is to scale, as he always apologises for. The Doc's filled with little oddities that makes him by far the most interesting character of the entire series, which is saying a lot since the movies have good character development and plot.

A fun fact, Christopher Lloyd voiced a mad doctor-like character in the Hey Arnold Nickelodeon movie. This character also stays in the drawers that keep corpses just so he can scare any guests coming by. Little weird.

SCIENTIFIC GOOGLING

This section is dedicated to different things I come across involving mad doctors that can be found on the internet. This week, I came across this address: http://www.drhorrible.com/

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog is a 45-minute musical broken up into three parts. It's about Dr. Horrible, who's striving to get into the Evil League of Evil ran by Dark Horse. To accomplish this, he tries to pull off heists and other crimes with his inventions to get in. However, Dark Horse isn't impressed by Dr. Horrible and requests that he kill someone to get in.

During this little storyline, Dr. Horrible goes to the laundromat to not only wash his clothes, but try his best to talk to a girl named Penny he loves. Of course, he always ends up coming off as awkward, but he tries nevertheless to win over her heart.

To top this all off, Dr. Horrible's evil nemesis, Capt. Hammer, always gets in the way to foil his plans and beat him into a bloody pulp. This egotistical superhero notices Dr. Horrible's love for Penny, then goes out of his way to date her to make the poor doctor miserable. This pushes Dr. Horrible off the edge as he makes his most evil plan yet.

As mentioned, it's a musical that has a good number of catchy songs, such as "My Freeze Ray" and "Brand New Day." It's aimed to be a comedic story though the main conflict turns for a dramatic piece. The title of this suggests blogging, which is how Dr. Horrible introduces himself by reading emails and going over his latest evil scheme (unfortunately, Capt. Hammer also watches the blog at one point). It's a fun musical to watch (especially since it's free to watch) with a humerous story and Dr. Horrible's one of those characters you just can't help but feel sorry for with all his luck (or lack of it). It can be found on YouTube and other sites, too.

SCIENTIFIC THEORIES

Here I'll be be explaining aspects of mad doctors and attempt to explain them. This week will be going on about evil laughter.

We have an example here that I have illustrated of what it's like for a mad doctor to laugh. Now, not all mad doctors laugh like this, but in all honesty, it should be encouraged. The thought here is that every time a mad doctor laughs, lightning will strike. See old Frankenstein movies for more details.

First, we should go over the laugh itself. It's quite important to have a good laugh as a mad doctor (Dr. Horrible even goes over this in his blog). Evil sounding, sinister, with a touch of insanity. The most common evil laughter seem to be the "HAHAHAHAHA" laugh, though there are probably some that go "HOHOHOHO" or "HEEHEEHEEE!" The main point is to communicate to others that you are indeed insane and very dangerous to approach, especially when holding a death laser. It's also a nice segway to go on about nasty plots to all others involved, even if they don't wish to hear it. Granted, it usually ends with the hero using the speech to defeat you, but it was a pretty badass speech for the time.

Now, the lightning effect. For dramatic effect, when certain mad doctors laugh, lightning will strike. It's a common cliche, but I wouldn't call it that. I like to call it good staging. Either way, whether the mad doctors in question create the lightning to laugh to for the effect or if the laughing itself causes the lightning. It probably goes both ways, with some doctors loving the dramatic effect to recreate it themselves to those who just have such a good laugh of pure evil that even God Himself must try to strike down the mad doctor in question.

Which leads to another thought. For those who use their laugh to create lightning, wouldn't it be a more of an effective plan to laugh at the hero and electrocute them? In fact, one could play Thor with this ability and control something so uncontrollable as weather. Is there a reason mad doctors don't use this laughter to their advantages?

The answer is yes. They put a lot of time and money into their overly complicated plans that it would all be ruined if the hero was electrocuted before putting their plan to effect. Thus why mad doctors never use their laughter as a weapon.

Why hello there

Welcome to the latest and greatest in research and evidence of mad doctors. Here, I will be revealing mad doctors from every point of reality, fictitious or not; attempt to collect mad doctor instruments and wardrobe to better understand them; perform very delicate mathematical and scientific research to dwell into more about mad doctors; and go on an epic quest to find a true, living, breathing example of a mad doctor.

First, before we go any further, we should define exactly what makes a mad doctor a mad doctor. In my own research and experience, I've found that a mad doctor must fall under these categories:

• The person in question must have training in the medical or scientific field or be bright enough in the field to not need a certificate officially.
• This person must also have a mental issue, thus the "mad" part of a mad doctor.

It's very important we make our definition clear from the start. For example, Prof. Moriarty from Sherlock Holmes is a criminal mastermind with the title of professor, but does not show an interest in performing scientific research and does not appear to be insane (though lacks any sense of morality). Dr. House from House, M. D. not only is skilled in the field of medical diagnosis, but also has proven himself time and time again to have a few screws loose, whether it be doing dangerous procedures to drug addictions to being hinted at having Asperger's.

Now that we have that defined, let's carry on with our investigations.

MAD DOCTOR OF THE WEEK

Every week, I will introduce a mad doctor while giving some history about them, their history of diabolical plans (or just the really, really crazy ones), and anything else that needs an explanation. This week's mad doctor is...

DR. CLAW

Dr. Claw is the main antagonist of the cartoon series Inspector Gadget. What he does in every episode is plot some sort of horrific deed for his MAD agents to perform to gain money and power, but always gets his plans foiled by none other than Inspector Gadget himself (though it's always Penny and Brain doing it, despite neither Claw or Gadget realizes this). Claw is most notable for his demonic-sounding voice, only ever having his gauntlet shown at any time, having a car that can transform into a plane and submarine, and his constant screaming and slamming his fist onto his table (always causing MAD Cat to jump up out of being startled). Sometimes he'll even hit his cat, which I'm sure PETA has knocked on his door a few times over it.

All of Claw's plans are over the top and ridiculous, ranging from causing a volcano to explode to get the inhabitants off an island for his own dirty deeds, having his MAD agents disguise themselves as pharaohs and mummies in an attempt to steal an Egyptian sarcophagus, and using a mechanical sea dragon to kidnap a scientist. No matter what the deed, though, Claw always gets close to accomplishing it. The only reason he never does is because of either Brain and Penny's interference unknowingly (despite the fact he kidnaps Penny in like, almost every episode?) or Gadget's own bumbling mistakes and pure luck on his part.

This doesn't stop Claw, though. In the end credits, Claw always ends the episode yelling out, "I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME, GADGET! NEXT TIIIIIME!"

KLEPTOMANIA

Here, I'll go over what I've collected over time of mad doctor paraphernalia in an attempt to better understand them.

First off, is it just me or does it seem like mad doctors are always wearing ties with their lab coats? Or at least bow ties. For this reason, I'm revealing my entire tie collection, a grand total of 30 (not all in the shots, like the one I was wearing at the time of the photo). Off the top of my head, I can name off Dr. Wily and Bill Nye of wearing some sort of necktie device. This tie in particular is the best I have for a mad doctor tie, being it's suppose to be for optometrists. I guess it would be rather interesting to see a mad eye doctor, wouldn't it?

Also, it wouldn't be much of a mad doctor collection without a few lab coats, right? Below, I have two lab coat, one that I now use as my painting coat and the other used for laughing evilly during electrical storms. This is by far the best part of being a mad doctor; I can't resist lab coats. They're just so spiffy.

WHERE'S WILY?

Last, but not least for today, I will be going on about my grand adventures in hunting down the elusive mad doctor. Now typically, the best area to be looking for these would be in a secret castle or some sort of strange laboratory. However, everyone knows that mad doctors can't resist funnel cakes. Therefore, the most logical answer is to search for mad doctors at the Minnesota State Fair.















After treating myself to a funnel cake, I came upon some robotic equipment that was judged. This, ladies and gentlemen, is how mad doctors fund their insane deeds. They enter contests like this in an attempt to get enough money to get plutonium so they can charge up their DeLorians so they can go to the future at 1.21 jigawatts.

Though it would probably be much easier to take out a bank loan, I approve of this method of getting some quick cash. However, I do believe a mad doctor was out for blood.

What we have here is a very dangerous robot. It even goes by Dr. Wily's naming scheme for his robots of "[Blank]man." What's most peculiar about this robot is that it not only looks like it wants to rip my spine out and jump rope with it (or if it had legs, it would), but also the megaphone (besides the fact it's in a very inappropriate spot; mad doctors can be so immature). Obviously, this means that this robot is capable of carrying on a conversation, which may or may not scare the crap out of me or anyone else depending on what it's saying. If it asks for a hug, just turn away. Everyone knows that robots don't have feelings therefore cannot desire hugs.

I'm pretty sure I found the mad doctor, too, though I wasn't able to get to him in time before he kidnapped someone.

The victim in question is known as Ashley, though has not been seen in almost a week, disappearing on Saturday. This is the last evidence of her existence before the abduction. I'm positive the mad doctor in this picture (disguised as a pickle so not to arouse any suspicion) was in charge of this nefarious crime, probably mistaking her for Penny. They're both blonde, anyways.

And that is all I have for this week. Keep an eye out for any mad doctors about.